Realcent.org

~ I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.


~ CEO's are now playing miniature golf.


~ Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.


~ A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.


~ I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.


~ If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.


~ McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.


~ Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.


~ Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's
names.


~ My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!


~ A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.


~ A picture is now only worth 500 words.


~ When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.


~ The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.


~ Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!
The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people
who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!


And, finally....

~ I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my
savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline
I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal,
they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck!-----

~ I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my
savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline
I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal,
they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck!-----

LOL

Feel free to add your own .....

For some more added comic relief....head over to the Cramer Sound Board and hit the man out the window button: http://www.cnbc.com/id/18724672/

Good stuff, Copper Catcher!! That is the first laugh I have all day! Thanks.

great list

luxembourg is AAA rated and we are not!

Lmao.

I really shouldn't laugh at this, but I did anyway.

Times are tough in your town when there's a cardboard shortage. Most everyone has made a crudely lettered "Will Work for Food" sign and they're fighting for the prime curbside real estate at major intersections.

Copper Catcher wrote:For some more added comic relief....head over to the Cramer Sound Board and hit the man out the window button: http://www.cnbc.com/id/18724672/

Awesome - thanks!

great way to start my morning.

Edit: Here just found this.

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-08-1 ... -says.html

Those poor wall street traders. You know times must be bad.

I have to add this and I swear this is the truth:

- When you have three cats and all of them are on prozac! I give them each a 1/4 tab every morning in a pill pocket.

~ Tooth Fairy is pinching pennies -

A recent survey found that the national going rate has seen a 40-cent decline this year: From $3 to $2.60. What’s worse? A full 10 percent of kids are reaching under their pillows ... and coming up empty. Compare that to last year when just 6 percent of kids found no reason to flash that toothless grin.

Read: http://www.sentinelsource.com/news/nati ... 6967f.html

Oldie but goody tension relievers laugh lines!!

Great stuff! Glad you gave it some attention, Pam.

This really reminds me of the old Johnny Carson bit.

JOHNNY CARSON: The economy is SOOOOO BAD...
ED MCMAHON: Really? How bad is it?
JOHNNY: It's so bad that at the all-you-can-eat buffet in downtown Burbank you take a single bite and they respond "That's all you can eat!" (just made that one up, but that is the type of stuff he used to say back in the day)