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I would like to hear from those that have a self-directed 401k or IRA. The choices of my 401k are limited and vulnerable to counterparty risk. I need to know more about the experiences of people that have had a self-directed IRA for several years.
Did their fees go up each year? If so, how much?
Which company did you use to set up?
Who is your custodian?
How good has the service been?
What sort of non-stock / non-bond investments have you put your self-directed IRA into and how was the servicing and processing of your transactions?

In general, I need to learn a lot more about this than I can get from the New York Life agent (which is nothing) and from the advertising on the vendor web sites on the internet ( which is all written by the seller of the service - therefore of questionable reliability).

The only thing that matters:

Do you get "employer matching" in the 401k. If so, do that at least up to the maximum level of employer matching for sure!

Other than that, there is not nearly as much difference as you might think. It's nice to manage your own investments but most people do that pretty poorly

I did a SEP a few years back when I was self contracting and used it to pour money into to lower my tax basis. If I recall the limits were around 25% of your income in a year you could direct tax free into it. Opened it with a large broker and never paid fees on anything. Looked into the self directed 401k but there were too many fees associated with it. The SEP is the simplest/cheapest self directed plan you can do I believe. Parked my money into a targeted retirement date plan and forgot about it. While you still pay fees to the fund you dont have any other fees.

From the US department of Labor website:

Simplified Employee Pension plans (SEPs) can provide a significant source of income at retirement by allowing employers to set aside money in retirement accounts for themselves and their employees. Under a SEP, an employer contributes directly to traditional individual retirement accounts (SEP-IRAs) for all employees (including the employer). A SEP does not have the start-up and operating costs of a conventional retirement plan and allows for a contribution of up to 25 percent of each employee’s pay.

Advantages Of A SEP

-Contributions to a SEP are tax deductible and your business pays no taxes on the earnings on the investments.

-You are not locked into making contributions every year. In fact, you decide each year whether, and how much, to contribute to your employees’ SEP-IRAs.

-Generally, you do not have to file any documents with the government.

-Sole proprietors, partnerships, and corporations, including S corporations, can set up SEPs.

-You may be eligible for a tax credit of up to $500 per year for each of the first 3 years for the cost of starting the plan.

-Administrative costs are low.