Trying to convince my fiancee on safest room for our bedroom

[Nickelless]

I posted this over at GIM, but I'm not really satisfied with some of the replies over there. I keep thinking of Deal's line "If you want peace, prepare for war," and in times of war you want to maximize your personal safety as much as is practical. Here's what I posted on GIM and the link over there:

http://www.goldismoney2.com/showthread. ... ur-bedroom

I have three bedrooms in my house, basically side-by-side with the front bedroom (which is the largest) in the very front of the house and the back bedroom farthest away from both the front and back doors. The back bedroom is smaller than the front bedroom but bigger than the middle one, and it's the only one of the three without a window facing the street, plus since it's on the back side of the house and is right above a rear corner of the basement, it's the perfect room in which to add a second entrance to the basement at some point for quicker access. My fiancee is insisting that we make the front bedroom our bedroom after we get married, but I really don't feel comfortable having our bedroom facing the street and being so far away, relatively speaking, from a point of access to the basement--and quick basement access for my fiancee is IMO very important, since she is disabled and may need to take shelter quickly in the event of severe weather, a break-in or other such emergency. She's been adamant about the front bedroom being the master bedroom, despite my explanations as to why I don't think it would be a good idea in terms of safety. She was talking about this last week, but that was before our next-door neighbor's house was burglarized in broad daylight. I'm thinking that could be a selling point for again trying to promote the back bedroom as the master bedroom, but I'm looking to bolster my argument as much as possible before I bring this up again. She's still not comfortable handling firearms. I have at least a few months before we get married, so any ideas you guys can give me on how to convince her on bedroom location would be greatly appreciated.

[68Camaro]

I think you've got all your arguments at hand. If that hasn't persuaded her, ultimately, marital peace and harmony in your house trump an issue that you can fix with the appropriate physical measures.

You need to secure the front window (or all windows), and that can be done.

In the extreme you could brick them in and cover them up - not likely to be acceptable, but you could point that out to your future wife as you move to the next option. You could bar them, which is often done, but doesn't look good. Or you could put in impact resistant laminated windows (as I did). For those on a tighter budget, CC (I believe) pointed out a laminated film that has something of the same effect.

Basement access is a limited selling point to moving bedrooms. You're talking about a difference of perhaps 30-40 feet at most. Ease of that access is far more important than distance between, IMHO. It may take her 30 seconds to move that distance, but 5 minutes to get downstairs. More important to reduce the 5 minutes than the 30 seconds.

[Copper Catcher]

There are several key questions to answer. What threat or threats are you most concerned about and trying to prepare for and second is she able to move to the basement safely without assistance in a hurry?

My guess is she feel like she needs the extra space in the bedroom to move around and be comfortable but does not want to tell you point blank.

If you are overly worried about someone breaking the windows then you need to relax and get the 3M security window laminate that is 7 mil or 8 mil and have this professional installed on your windows.

There is a big difference in window tinting and security laminate....The security laminate can be clear so no one would know it was applied. Ask to see a piece of demo glass and wack it with a baseball bat and you will be impressed!

Call an authorized 3M dealer and get a quote, send me a pm and it can be an early wedding gift!

Think about too adding solid metal doors of you are concerned about someone kicking in a door and look into a product called Armor Guard to reinforce the door jams.

Send me a pm and I have two other things I can send to help with adding security I don't want to reveal openly....

Two other things you might consider for your wife to keep on her person or at a spot she can access quickly are the two shot Kimber Pepper Spray device that is shaped like a gun....it comes in bright red or grey in color. Get two...You need to use one to see how it works and the other is to keep. Second you might want her to consider having a small stungun.

Lastly, and I am saying this to remind myself as much as I am for others....It is a guys nature to think and re-think all the situations but in doing this we scary the hell out of those close to us namely our wifes or soon to be wifes. We think it is just the prudent thing to do, and it is, but we need to let go and just live life some too and not be so worried about the future and what might happen that we are missing the little and sometimes big things today that are important and right before us....Stepping off soapbox...

[Copper Catcher]

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Kimber-Pepper-B ... 4d0477d57a

Above is a link off eBay for the Kimber....You might check around for the best pricing.

[Nickelless]

My biggest concern with the room that my fiancee wants to make our bedroom is that the door to that bedroom is literally right next to the front door--so if someone were to break through the front door, they'll be in the bedroom in just a second. The back bedroom would probably give us close to 10 seconds to respond to any intruders. It takes Laura a couple minutes to go from the front door to the back bedroom.

[brian0918]

For a burglar stomping through your house, is there really that much difference between the front bedroom and the back bedroom? I don't know the layout of your house, but for someone rushing in, would it really take 10 seconds to get from one room to the other? I could run around the entire perimeter of my house in that time.

If you're worried about burglars, bedroom placement is a minor issue compared to deterrence, e.g. exterior motion detection lighting, minimal shrubbery around windows and doors, alarm system, and/or the reinforcements that Copper Catcher suggested. Window lamination and door reinforcements would also be good to have for severe weather.

Depending on the safety in your community (and state laws), and considering her disability, she should get her concealed carry license, and get training in self-defense and defensive carry tactics.

[Nickelless]

Brian, my fiancee has spina bifida and usually gets around with crutches or, if she's going long distances, a wheelchair. The few seconds' difference between the front and back bedrooms for either a burglar or me could give me more reaction time to grab a gun. The last thing I want is for a burglar to get in the front door and into the front bedroom before I have a chance to grab a gun.

[Bluegill]

If things are as bad as you're making them sound, and you genuinely feel the way your writing comes across, and your concerned about people breaking and entering while your home.., I contend you should consider a different zip code before anything else. Seriously. Why put yourself in that environment with that kind of energy in the first place?

[Nickelless]

If things are as bad as you're making them sound, and you genuinely feel the way your writing comes across, and your concerned about people breaking and entering while your home.., I contend you should consider a different zip code before anything else. Seriously. Why put yourself in that environment with that kind of energy in the first place?

Things aren't bad at all, I'm just trying to think of the possible worst-case scenarios and the dial it back to our current situation. Laura doesn't like to think about things like that until it's at our door, so to speak, so that's why I'm just trying to think through contingencies before we get married. The issue of which bedroom she wants to be ours just happened to come up in conversation. She's not moving in until we get married, so I have a little while to work on things.

[shinnosuke]

Nickelless, after reading about your concerns and some of the good suggestions that followed, my first thought was to ask if you have a dog. Does your finacee like dogs? A housebroken and loyal dog living inside the home can be a source of both joy and protection.

[Nickelless]

Nickelless, after reading about your concerns and some of the good suggestions that followed, my first thought was to ask if you have a dog. Does your finacee like dogs? A housebroken and loyal dog living inside the home can be a source of both joy and protection.

Laura likes dogs, but given my work schedule at the moment and the fact that I'm the only human living in the house (I have two cats who think they're human), a dog isn't practical at this point. I'm certainly open to the possibility after we get married, though.



WOOHOO! My 6,000th post!

[shinnosuke]

Hope things work out for you both. Congrats on #6,000!

Nah, get the dog now. You could always break out your video camera and make a movie called Dogs vs. Cats.

[Nickelless]

Hope things work out for you both. Congrats on #6,000!

Nah, get the dog now. You could always break out your video camera and make a movie called Dogs vs. Cats.

I'm not ready to have the inside of the house destroyed yet.