Realcent.org

Predictions: Year 2012


Andy develops the New Ryedale 4000 and sales are brisk...


After modifying his equipment HCBBT is still not happy with his zinc bump bins claiming they are too small!


In other news, in order to save money The United States Mint has opted to close its Denver location and contracted out operations to The Portland Mint.


In late breaking news...Market Harmony LLC has been chosen to be the physical audit agent for Fort Knox. The CEO of the company in a recent interview on Fox and Friends stated he will personally inspect ever bar and make sure the Gold is truly there!

HEHEHE The gold might be there before I get to count it, but I make no guarantees upon completion of such an audit

My prediction is that Copper Catcher will be contracted by the FDIC to complete a study of total assets turned over from "bad" banks to "good" banks... his conclusions from the study will get him whipped, tarred, and feathered by Alan Greenspan. But, this will then launch a campaign for CC to be the next president.

Meanwhile, up North...

Having drained the entire city of its gold reserves, Winnipeg Gold Buyer expands his territory into Southern Ontario and runs afoul of London Gold Buyer. Civil war ensues.

And, this just in,

NotABigDeal buys the NRA...

In other news, Rodebaugh is hired to pull several of the president's teeth:

Roadrunner wrote:In other news, Rodebaugh is hired to pull several of the president's teeth:

The O is British???

OKOKOKOK, I'm not really a 'birther' .

British? Sorry I guess I missed the joke...

Keep going this is good!

Meanwhile in Japan...

The cost of cotton and other commodites will quadruple with QE8, Obama will mandate price-fixing at Goodwill, a ban on black market garment sales will ensue, and the Fashion Police will finally start enforcing a crackdown on public displays of poor taste in skivvies.

And in further news, as purchasing power deteriorates, repercussions continue to ripple from the worldwide race to depreciate global currencies.
Illegal criminal rings, involved in human-trafficking, are protesting, complaining that "the rupee will just not buy as much as it used to!"

Spiritual reawakening, predicted by the Mayan's End of the World forecast of 12/21/2012,
leads to unforeseen consequences when expanding human consciousness is discovered to
cause irritrievably-meshed neural interweaving. Neurologists are at a loss as to how to
reverse the process for the afflicted, and previously popular buzz phrases, such as "let's
put our minds together on this," "how about some head," and "What's on your mind?"
fall into cultural disfavor.

After peak oil occured early this year, transportation takes a new twist,
proving a new burden on the already overtaxed Republican upper class

Al Gore, long-mocked for predictions that global warming would cause a rise in the level of the oceans
threatening coastal cities, is vindicated when Memphis, Tennessee is flooded. Unfortunately, Al was
visiting Graceland at the time.

Doomsayers, accused of fear-mongering while predicting food riots - due to worsening droughts, potash depletion, skyrocketing fuel costs, and overdependence upon corn stocks for ethanol - are proven wrong when economists reveal that sales at McKing's of two all soy patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a cardboard bun continue to soar on their $15.99 Value Meal Menu.

ThePowersThatBe put in charge of infrastructure security

Beleagured green advocates finally abandon their cause to halt clear-cutting of the Amazon Basin.
With no trees any longer available for hugging, they decamp to their various origins, just in time
to miss the arrival of Planet X (proven in 2011 to be a hoax) entering the Earth's atmosphere in
dramatic fashion.

Ah yes... the imagination of the mind and the willingness to stay open to the possibilities is a good thing! The year 2012 will be here before you know it. The real question is what will come to pass in the mean time?

Misteroman arrives at the Fifth Annual RealCenter's Get Together. With Silver having climbed above $800 an ounce,
and gold threatening $10,000, Forum members have become fabulously wealthy, and are approached by Ben Bernanke
to bail out the government in the wake of the Fed's demise. A frustrated group of wannabe realcenter's, composed of
the Bilderburg Group, and led my a talented hacker named Kirkland, make repeated futile attempts to become members,
but are turned away by the diligent efforts of Governor Hoard of California and Premier JadeDragon of Canada.

Looking to recoup loses a new product is born.

Federal officials are horrified when they learn of an alarming increase in reports of
human werewolves roaming the hills of West Virginia. At first, speculated by
investigators fielded by National Geographic, the sightings are attributed to be a new
species related to Big Foot, however, regulators are incensed when it is discovered
that the condition actually is an adverse side effect of a teeth-whitening process
devised by Doc Rodebaugh, now serving ten to life in a nearby penitentiary. Reached
for comment, Doc emitted a low-pitched growling snarl, and clawed at prison officials
when they attemped to remove a Morgan pendant dangling upon his matted chest.

Scandal erupts at the 2nd Annual Aker Family Reunion in Des Moines, Iowa, when it is discovered that the previous winners of the three-legged sack race, all required to be
authenticated victims of Genetically Altered Corn Mutant Syndrome, actually are contestants with one normal leg each, giving them an advantage over less fleet feet.
Disheartened, they are banned from all future events, but later discover fame and fortune when hosted by Oprah and asked to be Nike footwear models who are expected
to dash about at media events yelling "Swoosh" while holding their arms extended like an airplane.

Terrifying predictions of worldwide destruction caused by cataclysmic global
events coinciding on 12/21/2012 are laid to rest by the calming ministrations
of Guru Abner Horgleson, purported to be the progeny of an alien-human
comingling by his mother Arlene, a claimant of alien abduction in 1967, when
his burgeoning group, led by millions of brown-cowled New Faith believers,
lead an overthrow of organized religion while awaiting the return of the Mother
Ship and subsequent rescue.

Fears of electromagnetic disruption, leading to the loss of all electronic functions,
computerized machinery, and telecommunications ability claimed by NASA
scientists to be initiated by solar flares of a magnitude never witnessed in human
history, prove to be misleading. Apparently a decimal point was inadvertently moved
two spaces to the right, affecting calculations. One profiteer, eager to capitalize
on the misinformation before it is widely disseminated to the public to quell their
fears, is instrumental in the formulation of a new product, and thus Orville
Reddenbacker's Buttered Human Popcorn is created.

Mistero, you have to pick me up on the way to the 5th GTG in that car!