North Korea... Breaking News!
Posted: Mon Apr 01, 2013 10:41 amJust saw this scroll on CNN, story just breaking:
AP:
North Korean officials admitted today that beloved leader Kim Jong Un, known to his countrymen as “Lil Kim,” has not been seen or spoken with since Russian Foreign Ambassador of Diplomacy, Ivor Ratchakoff, met and delivered a large package to him on Friday, March 29, 2013.
Speculation among staffers close to Kim’s inner circle of confidantes state that the box, seen from closed circuit cameras as it was unwrapped, was some kind of console meant to be attached to a monitor. It was described as being half the size of Kim’s high tech typewriter, with a port upon the top of the unit which appears to accept a data cartridge that activates the system.
High resolution imagery recovery by the NSA has determined that the maker of this unit was some obscure black ops division from the early 1980's code named Atari. North Korean officials confirm that this Missile Command upgrade from their present ballistic missile system is just what they have been waiting upon prior to unleashing a devastating “first strike” nuclear attack upon the hedonistic pit of vipers in Washington, D.C.
Attempts to contact Atari’s 800 number (1-800-Apr-Fols) were unsuccessful, although telephone traffic logs do reveal one non-stop telephone conversation, originating from Pyongyang, with the Cheats Hotline, which enables console operators with deficient capabilities to target opponents at an easier skill level than the United States. Latest reports from geosynchronous spy satellites reveal that the North Korean missiles, previously targeting Seoul, Tokyo, Honolulu and Seattle, have now been re-aimed at Nepal and Mongolia.
AP:
North Korean officials admitted today that beloved leader Kim Jong Un, known to his countrymen as “Lil Kim,” has not been seen or spoken with since Russian Foreign Ambassador of Diplomacy, Ivor Ratchakoff, met and delivered a large package to him on Friday, March 29, 2013.
Speculation among staffers close to Kim’s inner circle of confidantes state that the box, seen from closed circuit cameras as it was unwrapped, was some kind of console meant to be attached to a monitor. It was described as being half the size of Kim’s high tech typewriter, with a port upon the top of the unit which appears to accept a data cartridge that activates the system.
High resolution imagery recovery by the NSA has determined that the maker of this unit was some obscure black ops division from the early 1980's code named Atari. North Korean officials confirm that this Missile Command upgrade from their present ballistic missile system is just what they have been waiting upon prior to unleashing a devastating “first strike” nuclear attack upon the hedonistic pit of vipers in Washington, D.C.
Attempts to contact Atari’s 800 number (1-800-Apr-Fols) were unsuccessful, although telephone traffic logs do reveal one non-stop telephone conversation, originating from Pyongyang, with the Cheats Hotline, which enables console operators with deficient capabilities to target opponents at an easier skill level than the United States. Latest reports from geosynchronous spy satellites reveal that the North Korean missiles, previously targeting Seoul, Tokyo, Honolulu and Seattle, have now been re-aimed at Nepal and Mongolia.
