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I'm curious about what lies everyone has told banks- there are probably some very interesting ones out there. Some that I imagine people use are:

1) I'm not a coin collector;
2) I won't bring these coins back to this bank; and
3) I need half dollars for use as poker chips.

So what are some of the lies/fibs that you have used or heard of other people using?

I'm from the government and I'm here to help

Your drive through is NOT too wide!
That other bank isn't even my type.
I wasn't looking at her coin counter.
I don't even like big sacks of coins.
I always listen to what you say.

these coins are for the kids

"Looking for half dollars to give as gifts to my nieces and nephews".
"I need rolls of dimes for our card games"
"Looking for large dollars. The tooth fairy gives out the large dollars"

My father used to have me go into his bank to ask for rolls of the State quarters. They would only give them to members, which I was not. So I go in and ask for 2 rolls of the current quarter, and the teller (which just happened to be the head teller) asks me, "Are you a member here?". Thinking if I just answer "yes", I will get the rolls and be on my way. Wrong. She then says, "I have never seen you here before". Now I realize I have been caught. So to answer her, I say, "Oh I usually do my banking at your other branch". To which she asks, "Which branch is that?". I now have now idea where their other branches are at, so at a loss what to answer. I say something dumb, like, "Well, where are your other branches?". She now knows I am not a member and have lied to all the answers. I guess she figures she has embarrassed me enough, and gives me the 2 rolls. I never went back to that bank. The funny part was my father never wanted the rolls for himself, he was turning them around to a coin shop for a very small profit.

"I trust this bank to do whats best for me."

I'll call you

Buy the tellers chocolate, donuts and other bakery goods every once In a while, especially during the holidays. You won't have to lie to them at all.

Engineer wrote:I'll call you

On a recent trip I got 3 dime boxes and the teller asked me what I was going to do with all those dimes. Off the top of my head I said they were for a scavenger hunt. I realized what a dumb answer that was and got the hell out of the bank. Telling her the truth would have been best.

"I lost a bet with a friend and want to pay him in pennies to piss him off"

MrIncredible wrote:"I lost a bet with a friend and want to pay him in pennies to piss him off"

Now that is creative. I can imagine a teller after seeing you for the tenth time saying "You need to stop betting with your friend!"

MrIncredible wrote:"I lost a bet with a friend and want to pay him in pennies to piss him off"

I have had tellers ask me if that is what I am getting pennies for.

There are also the seasonal lies like "I need the pennies for giving out to kids for Halloween" or "I need the half dollars for the kids Christmas stockings."

we use the pennies for collection boards as hobby projects for the patients at the retirement home.

Old people searching for good dates... sounds like Match.com

I prefer to tell the truth without answering. Example:

Teller - what are all these half dollars for?
Engineer (looking shifty) - They're not to throw at strippers, I swear!

1. "I really need another credit card...of course I'll apply for one...right now?...well, OK gimme the form!...Oh, you will fill it out for me now?..gee, thanks!"
2. "I sort through the boxes of pennies to make up sets for the kids at the orphanage for Christmas, so that's why I really don't want 3 boxes of 2014's."
3. "The reason I ask for all the empty coin boxes each week is I'm celebrating diversity." (that usually leaves 'em speechless)

I just tell the truth. I am looking for errors and rare coins. Nearly all the time I get what I can carry.

Why do you tell these stories? Does your bank actually care why you are buying coins?
I tell them exactly what I'm doing. Most of the time they are in wide eyed bewilderment at the knowledge I'm laying down. Either that or they already have a keeper spot in their drawer.
Be friendly and grateful. You possibly are making fools of yourselves because they already know why you are buying coins.

The storytelling ended a while back. They rotate the tellers among the 15 branches so often I couldn't keep the fibs straight anyway.

Your best ally is familiarity. They see me so much I'm invisible, and my coin needs are by now a normal transaction.

I have a hard time outright lying, but sometimes I just stretch the truth, or tell prat of it. "I look for the old ones" works with any coin, without being too specific. "The girls and I sort pennies together" even though they don't REALLY help all that much. I believe most of the time they are just making conversation, and not trying to figure out your great secret. You're probably one of their least crazy customers. Think about that.

I hate to lie. I ask for the change, and give no reason. I have learned to mostly visit those branches that deal with commercial customers, and I just fit in.

It is interesting to see the reasons they come up with. They get that spark and, "It must be poker night." or "I didn't think that was legal." or "don't break any laws with these."

The Trick to a good lie it HAS to be funny...
Source banks- "what do you do with all these? I throw them in wishing wells.
Dump banks- Where do you get all these? I clean out wishing wells.
And since I always give the ladies candy. What do you do for a living? I'm a Dentist.
HH all, Mark

Another favorite used on occasion... I'd tell ya but then I'd have to kill ya.

I'm totally guilty of the "using them for poker chips" line.

One time I told a teller that I look for the older coins, in to which she replied, "if they are pre-64, we sort thru and take those out, so we don't have alot of OLD coins in our rolls".... well... I guess I just found a new dump location!!!

-The Great

i once bought 50 cases of water with 30 (16 oz.) bottles of water in each case. I had some extra money and they were on sale, I wanted to add them to my SHTF supplies...........the teenage cashier asked my why on earth was I buying this much water in the middle of the night on a weekday......I told her my water got shut off, and I wanted to take a bath. she looked at me like I was crazy.