by neilgin1 » Mon Apr 30, 2012 3:21 am
Silverflake, you honor more me than i deserve, thats not fake humility, it's truth.
what i'm about to write, please dont take as the words of some tightly bound "religionist". "religion" is a terrible thing, Faith and reverential Awe of God is everything good and wholesome. I wrote "reverential Awe of God" on purpose, the other way its translated is to "Fear God", and i dont believe thats an accurate soul stance, it implies a witless, wet the pants FEAR.
reverential Awe of God is ....better. and the Book says, "the Fear of God is the beginning of Wisdom" and any SEEMING wisdom i might impart is grasping this truth. To foresee or to forthtell others, is a blessing, and its a CURSE.
it started when i was a wee lad, 7, raised and taught in the Way, in the synagogue, which i never had to be drug to, or cajoled, i loved it, learned Hebrew, learned the Torah, and God was and is to this Day, Real to me. He's Real...and i never argue with those that don't believe this, nor think ill of them ,as blessed are the meek. Years later, God was pleased to reveal His Son TO me and IN me...no man told me This, God the Holy Spirit saw fit to break me, crush me, and raise me from the dead.
i wrote all that to say this, He put a lightening bolt thru my child soul at 9, when i spent 4 hours sitting in an apple tree, and read the entire book, "Hiroshima" by John Hershey. i was never the same, i began to see things with new eyes, and lies that were forwarded as "truths" became clear as day, its a curse.....buts its a blessing.
So God took me on journey, put me into the belly of the beast, i was in the intel community at a very young age (truth) and then after 4 short years, i was freed, having saw the lies and deceit that drip like acid, throughout this "community"...then he put me in the belly of another beast, the world of the trading floor, spent the 80's there, learned all about the ways of that 'world' and its ......i cant even describe it, just to say, again, another world full of lies, deceit, worship of money, betrayal, cold hearts, everything that is bad and unwholeness about our hearts, and believe me, i was knee deep in it, a willing participant with one exception, i never stole a dime on that floor, because i thought it was a great way, for a poor kid, who had sand, to claw his way to wealth. to CLAW, but to claw, you had to steal, and cheat, and bend rules, and something in me, sinner that i am, couldnt DO IT. then he led me into the entertainment industry, where again, i was in the belly of another beast...same thing, lies, deceit, betrayal, worship of money...OR worse, worship of SELF.......and then He got me OUT, rescued me, and has now, hid me away on this high lonely ridge, all alone. But He did find me a place, where i have wonderful neighbors, over there, over here, and i have made friends, whom i love. Good people.
and for some reason, the past 6 months, i just been paralyzed. Maybe it was the winter, which was really a baby winter, but i been paralyzed. Aint getting weird, or going off into craziness, i just keep house, best as a single (cave)man can, stacked, and stocked, get into the Bible every morning, pre-dawn...but thats it. Sure i made firewood, keep in touch with family, a few visitors, some of the old crew, my sister and her husband, my precious son, my brother lives 20 miles south, he's a treecutter, we call this the "doghouse", coz we can do what we please, meaning like a frat house, so there's a lot of laughter and dude type hijinks, but i'm just paralyzed.
let me tell you how. Do you know when you get those late spring days, when a warm front is getting ready to be set upon by a cold front?...thats the "green sky", its means tornado's are coming, and you have that still hushed air, before the two systems clash?
6 months of "green sky". Somethings coming, and i dont say that to sow fear, but i say that to implore every brother here, get to know God, and know Him well. i'm NOT talking about "religion", i'm NOT (later add) talking about the "act" of dressing purty on Sundays, and going thru the motions of "doing church" (though fellowship is Good) i'm talking about two Things, get to know Him, hear His Voice, its just between you and God now. i know plenty of fellas who know the Word of God backwards and forwards, but do they know the God of the Word?...and once you get to hear Him, know Him, start talking to Him, which is praying, which is recognizing our dependence on God.
i believe that enough men get on their face, on their knees, and beg Him to stay His Hand, we can change the world, in the Secret Place of the God Most High.
i will confess, for 6 months, i have FAILED Him, i have a big old shed...a nice one, and He told me last year, "clean this out, and thats the secret place you go pray, you intercede for these people of mine"....and i havent done it.
OH, i been stacking! you bet....but cleaning that shed?...pouring myself out in secret prayer to Jesus?...havent done it.
But just writing this, to you all, is giving me that Focus...there is NO ACCIDENT we are here, no accident that we see thru the mist, thru the deception of these dark and vile times, and i really appreciate the safety of KNOWING that i can even confess on this board, which on the surface is a metals board, but MIGHT just be the place, where God speaks to this one, or that one, to get to the place of pleading with God to save this people, His people. as Jesus said, "Don't be afraid, just believe", neil
Last edited by
neilgin1 on Mon Apr 30, 2012 8:01 am, edited 1 time in total.