barrytrot wrote:IdahoCopper wrote:Today, most divorces are filed by women (75%). If your wife is not haaaapy, for any reason, she can divorce you on any whim, take 50% or more of everything you have built and saved, steal your kids, and latch a large claim on your future income for many years. Many women become vindictive and abusive, believing they are absolutely entitled to everything they can wring out of you, via lies, false accusations, and anything else they think they can get away with.
Deciding to marry, or allowing yourself to fall into a common-law marriage, is one of the most critical and financially dangerous things a man can do. It is almost always done while you are out of your proper mind, in love, lust, or other non-composed mental state.
I disagree with this and the advice misses the TRUE mark.
Marriage isn't the problem. People are. So find the correct people to be:
a) married too
b) in business with
c) friends with
In all cases the wrong people always doesn't work and the correct people always does.
The problem is that people change, what might seem like the correct person today
somewhere down the road turns out to be the wrong person.
Because the _system_ is so rigged against the partner with more initiative, makes
no sense and is completely unpredictable the risk of ending up with the wrong person
because of that (apparently normal and natural) change is far far too great. If the
_system_ made more sense and was more fair the risk would be more managable.
Do follow the link Idahocopper provided, any information people can give you about
their own experiences can help you craft your path through the minefield of life.
For myself based on what I've seen of other's experiences I find that as long as
I follow the 3 guidelines of:
-Do not fornicate
-Do not co-habitate
-Do not procreate
I end up with _way_ less government in my life. Remember that "common law
marriage" pretty much equals "marriage" in the government's eyes, just sneaks
up on you more easily.
While I live in a mostly capitalist environment I know I'm surronded by many who
are enslaved under an insane communistic system that keeps them in collectives.
I do wonder what would happen if enough people did this and the birth rate dropped
a massive amount and a government got desperate to grab for power in some other
way. It probably won't though because I know I'm fighting human nature and most
people aren't willing to do that even if they are aware.
Now that's where we are today. If there were a societal collapse, and global
de-population event and we eventually end up with a more sensible society
amoung the survivors this advice may not be right. But for the system we
are living under now these will be the 3 rules I follow to stay a "free person
of male gender". (I do consider the current system to be a form of slavery.)
Going a bit off-topic here but this does make me wonder why the gays want
to be allowed to marry each other so badly. Looking at the track record that
straight people have had over at least the last few decades I don't see why
they want on that fail-boat.
Thoughts on other topics:
Living with parents:
This one is a tough call, it's really an individual thing. If you get along great
with your parents, they encourage you to take initiative and you are pulling
your weight so the arrangement makes both you and them better off by all
means keep living with them.
However if you don't see the world the way they do, they are a "wet blanket"
that discourages every bit of inititive you take, or you just seem to get on
each other's nerves try to move out as soon as you find it practical to do so.
You might find you are better able to take advantage of opportunities if you
don't have someone looking over your shoulder questioning every little thing.
Work life:
Sullysullinburg, I seem to recall you mentioning you want to go to college at
some point. (Not sure if I'm mixing you up with someone else or not.) What
are you planning to go into? Have you figured out how you'll finance getting
through college? What you'll be doing and where? The less debt you have at
the end of it the better.
Whatever your primary choice is do give consideration to setting up a "plan B",
since you are still just 15 you've probably got a few summers left before the end
of high school that might allow you to take steps towards that.
Do you have any grandparents, aunts, uncles in any kind of a trade that might
seem like it might have an appeal to you? If so now is the time to talk to them
about it find out what you would have to do to get into that line of work and see
if there are steps you can take in terms of courses you can take concurrently to
high school either on the weekend or over summer so you can "hit the ground
running" a bit faster when you turn 18 if you've already gotten some of what you
need to done. Time saved is money saved, maybe also stress saved.
The reason I say to do this now is if plan A doesn't work out and you are in your
mid-20s by the time you are looking at other options those granparents, aunts,
uncles, etc. may be retired or possibly no longer alive by that point so you may
not have someone to guide you or get you in where you have to apprentice. A
lot of trades require practical time but you almost have to know someone to get
in as an aprentice. You could take the community college courses but if you can't
get in your apprenticeship you can't get your license so you can't get hired.
If you know someone who can guide you now you can know going in exactly what
the steps you have to take are rather than finding out after you've already enrolled
in the course.
If you don't know anyone and the economy is bad at the time you start considering
it a lot of people are concerned about "protecting their turf" so it could be hard
to get in when everyone you need help from considers you an outsider. Use any
connection you have and get in before it comes to that.
The only reason I didn't mention parents is if you look at what occupations the
wider family is in the chances of it lining up with something that interests you
and has current potential is greater than if you are just looking at one or two
options. Though exceptions do happen, my eye doctor is the 3rd generation in
the bussiness, that's at the far edge of the bell curve of coincidence though.
Inheritance:
If it comes your way that's all fine but work on the assumption you won't ever
get one. Assume you'll be on your own.
Housing:
My experience (at least when paying cash and not having mortgage interest
to pay) is that the cost of operating a house is less than the cost of renting.
Although multi-unit dwellings can have certain energy efficiency advantages
(due to each unit having fewer surfaces to the outside) that's more than
made up for by not having to pay somebody else's mortgage interest (almost
no landlords own their building free and clear) the wear and tear built into
the price to cover tenants that take care of stuff less than you and move
more often than you, and the mark up of the landlord.
Also if you have your own stand alone house that you own you won't ever be
forced to move because the rent goes up to more than you can afford, the
landlord wants to renovate then raise rent so they have to empty out the
place to do so, a new building owner doesn't like you for whatever reason.
Moving costs money.
Also being a stand alone unit (preferably with some space around it) you
aren't subject to as much risk of fire (dumb ass next door starts one and
it spreads beyond their unit) or bedbugs brought into the building by
annother tenant that spread throughout the whole building and the landlord
won't do anything about it because they are so overleveraged that one
unplanned expense will break them. (Thus you have to move heat treating
all your stuff so the bedbugs don't follow you, even more expensive than
a regular move.)
It may take a while to get there but this is a place you want to get to, a
mortgage free house of your own. Now if I could only get
Allodial title...
The only time it makes sense to rent is:
-You don't yet have the capital to buy.
-Odd life circumstances where you _can't_ own things. (Do everything you
can to stay off welfare, it can become a trap.)
-You aren't sure where you want/need to live longer term yet due to
work related reasons.
(Churning from one piece of real estate to annother has transaction costs
so if you have to move enough renting might still work out cheaper.)
Budgeting:
I've never really wrote out a detailed "budget" per se but I have at times
tracked my expenses so I can see where there are places I can fine tune
my spending. Even if you do decide to make a budget you'll invariably
forget something when making it so do track where money is actually going
so you can make that budget realistic.
Cell phones:
Recyclersteve wrote:I would just add the following...think about what you are buying- where will it be ten years from now? If you answer is a landfill, then the item may not be a true necessity. An example is an Apple iPhone- yes they are cool items to have but a cheap flip phone where you pay for minutes that don't expire monthly may be a more efficient purchase.
I agree with the comment about a cheaper phone (mine is about 12 years old) but I
have differing thoughts on the phone plan. I choose to get the unlimited talk time
plan so I can use it just like a home phone, if I get or make a call I don't want to
have to worry about how long it goes on. I don't typically use it heavily but you never
know when that odd month will happen so I choose to pay a bit more on a regular basis
than risk a month where the bill is crazy huge! Or be too afraid to use it making it not
worth having at all. Predictability is sometimes better than the absolute lowest cost,
or at least what might seem like the absolute lowest cost. (I'm one of the people
that refused to buy myself a cell phone until the unlimited plans became available!)
Also I have never sent any electronics to a landfill!
(Which is why I can still help anyone that needs to get some files off of a ZIP drive...
or a 5 1/4 inch floppy...or a Commodore datasette tape.
)
Health:
Take care of yourself, being sick is expensive.
If you are working somewhere new and something doesn't look like it makes sense
check with with a manager or a more experienced co-worker to see if there is a
better way to do what needs to be done. (That big heavy thing maybe really isn't
supposed to go on that high shelf, that's just where the tag goes directing to the
real location in the warehouse where it's kept.) If you get a back injury there are
(usually) things that can be done for you to manage it but you are way better off
not getting hurt in the first place avoiding an ongoing expense and avoiding being
tied down to a treatment schedule. (Sometimes you don't feel the full effects until
years later.) Work Safe!
If you are going to the gym, keep doing it! Even if you are busy, find a way to
fit it in! That extra strength will help you when you need it.
More worklife:
If you ever find yourself working 2 jobs, even if one seems way better than the other
it may still pay to keep both. Jobs can change just like people can change. Sometimes
jobs even disappear. The process of getting a job seems to also get progressively
harder as decision making becomes more and more centralized in the world of
mega-corps. You don't know what the future holds so hedge your bets
Very General:
-Spend less than you make
-Keep stacking!