You know times are tough here in the United States when...

[Copper Catcher]

~ I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.


~ CEO's are now playing miniature golf.


~ Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.


~ A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.


~ I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.


~ If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.


~ McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.


~ Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.


~ Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's
names.


~ My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!


~ A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.


~ A picture is now only worth 500 words.


~ When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.


~ The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.


~ Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!
The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people
who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!


And, finally....

~ I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my
savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline
I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal,
they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck!-----

[AGCoinHunter]

~ I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my
savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline
I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal,
they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck!-----

LOL

[Copper Catcher]

Feel free to add your own .....

[Copper Catcher]

For some more added comic relief....head over to the Cramer Sound Board and hit the man out the window button: http://www.cnbc.com/id/18724672/

[Sheikh_yer_Bu'Tay]

Good stuff, Copper Catcher!! That is the first laugh I have all day! Thanks.

[GTOJohn]

great list

[hobo finds]

luxembourg is AAA rated and we are not!

[John_doe]

Lmao.

I really shouldn't laugh at this, but I did anyway.

[Know Common Cents]

Times are tough in your town when there's a cardboard shortage. Most everyone has made a crudely lettered "Will Work for Food" sign and they're fighting for the prime curbside real estate at major intersections.

[68Camaro]

For some more added comic relief....head over to the Cramer Sound Board and hit the man out the window button: http://www.cnbc.com/id/18724672/

Awesome - thanks!

[avidbrandy]

great way to start my morning.

Edit: Here just found this.

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-08-1 ... -says.html

Those poor wall street traders. You know times must be bad.

[Copper Catcher]

I have to add this and I swear this is the truth:

- When you have three cats and all of them are on prozac! I give them each a 1/4 tab every morning in a pill pocket.

[Copper Catcher]

~ Tooth Fairy is pinching pennies -

A recent survey found that the national going rate has seen a 40-cent decline this year: From $3 to $2.60. What’s worse? A full 10 percent of kids are reaching under their pillows ... and coming up empty. Compare that to last year when just 6 percent of kids found no reason to flash that toothless grin.

Read: http://www.sentinelsource.com/news/nati ... 6967f.html

[Numis Pam]

Oldie but goody tension relievers laugh lines!!

[Recyclersteve]

Great stuff! Glad you gave it some attention, Pam.

This really reminds me of the old Johnny Carson bit.

JOHNNY CARSON: The economy is SOOOOO BAD...
ED MCMAHON: Really? How bad is it?
JOHNNY: It's so bad that at the all-you-can-eat buffet in downtown Burbank you take a single bite and they respond "That's all you can eat!" (just made that one up, but that is the type of stuff he used to say back in the day)